Experdize French Diner - Applied

How to play: you are the only server in a Paris brasserie, and every customer orders in French. There are three things to read, and all of them are the game.

Take as long as you like. There is no time limit and nothing to beat the clock to: a shift is 10 questions, and it ends the moment you answer the last one. One question is up at a time, and while it is up the whole room stands still — nobody comes in, nobody orders and no patience bar drains — so you can read it as slowly as you need. The stopwatch at the top counts up rather than down: it is your result, not your deadline, and your fastest run at each level is kept.

First, the door: when a party comes in she walks over and greets them — Bonjour, bienvenue ! — and then a row of four lines appears; pick the one that asks how many they are (Vous êtes combien ?). Watch what is being counted: combien de personnes counts people and combien de bouteilles counts things, so Vous prenez combien de bouteilles ? is asking something else entirely. Say the wrong thing and they will tell you so — and nobody sits down until they have been asked, so a queue you leave unanswered is a queue that walks out. You can choose her line while she is still crossing the room; she says it when she gets there, and they answer with Deux personnes. Once they have answered she comes back for them when she is free, shows them to a table and leaves the cards on the cloth — you never choose the table and you never send her, but every trip she makes for the room is a trip the counter is not being cleared. She cannot carry cards and plates at once: she puts the stack down on the counter to pick up a dish, and goes back for a fresh one when the door needs her. So a queue left standing while you run food is a queue that will cost her a walk before she can even say hello. Second, the table: they read for a while — nothing drains while a card is open — and then close them and call Excusez-moi !, and that table starts flashing with a ? over it. She goes across on her own and asks Vous avez choisi ?, and their answer appears in a speech bubble above the table and is spoken out loud — something like Je voudrais un bol de soupe à l’oignon, s’il vous plaît. Each customer has their own voice, so the young man in the hoodie and the woman in the suit do not sound alike. Tonight’s card comes out below the floor at that moment, and goes away again once every order has been answered — like the row at the door, it is only there while there is something on it to pick. Find the dish they asked for and tap it: she sets off for the counter there and then, without waiting to be told where the plate is going, so the walk happens while you are finding the table. Then tap the table and she collects it and carries it over. Two taps, and the whole game is in the first one. Her tray holds 2 plates, so you can line up two deliveries and she does one lap of the room — and food comes before the door: she answers the queue when her hands are free, so keeping the tray loaded is you deciding that the tables matter more than the people waiting. Third, the bill: when the plates are empty they call L’addition, s’il vous plaît ! and she writes the order up on the kitchen rail — you can see the slips hanging on it, at the right-hand end of the counter — so a row of them appears below the floor as well, each one saying which table it is for (table numéro trois) and what the food came to (vingt-sept euros). Every table’s number is painted on its cloth as a word, so finding whose slip is whose is a matter of reading un to cinq — and the figure on it is worth reading twice, because twenty-one is vingt et un where twenty-two is vingt-deux, and that et turns up at one and nowhere else. Tap the right slip and she walks to the counter for it straight away, exactly as she does for a dish; tap that table and she puts it down, says the figure out loud and they pay. Put the wrong one in front of somebody and they will hand it back. A slip takes a plate’s place on her tray — her hands hold 2 things, plates and bills alike — so settling up costs you a delivery, and a table waiting to pay is a table the next party cannot have. Tap a table with nothing on her tray and they will say their order again — that is free, and it costs you only the seconds it takes to listen. Put the wrong dish down and they say so (Ce n’est pas ce que j’ai commandé.), your run is broken and their patience takes a hit — the bar under each bubble is what you are really playing against. Nothing drains while a table is reading its cards or eating; the clocks that matter are the queue at the door, the wait to be asked, and the wait between the order going up and the food going down. The faster a table’s ring flashes, the closer that party is to walking out, so the floor can be ranked at a glance rather than by reading every bar. You cannot lose a shift — a party who gives up waiting still walks out and still costs you the table and your run, but nothing ends the shift except answering its last question. The tip is what was left of their patience when the right plate landed, and a run of correct dishes pays a bonus on top, so a shift is made by reading well rather than by running about. Every order dresses the dish properly — un bol de soupe, une assiette de frites, une carafe d’eau — and the counter with its article is printed on each tile, because the gender is the thing English speakers get wrong and the thing you will end up knowing. Watch the de too: it becomes d’ in front of a vowel, so it is une douzaine d’escargots and never une douzaine de escargots. The Server row on the setup card is who is working the floor — the same five people who work Experdize Dining, and each of them sounds like themselves where your machine has more than one French voice on it.

If you hear nothing at all, your machine has no French voice installed — which is less likely here than in most of these games, because French is one of the handful of voices nearly every operating system ships. The game deliberately stays silent rather than hand the words to an English voice, which would read l’addition as “ladd-ish-un” and bœuf as “bo-uff” and teach you a pronunciation you would then have to unlearn. Everything is written above every table, so the shift plays perfectly without it. To turn the sound on, add French as a language in your operating system’s settings with its speech or text-to-speech component, then restart the browser — the game picks the new voice up on its own, and the grey line over the floor disappears. The Level row below it is the shift’s own difficulty — the table numbers’ numerals, the door’s pace, how long an order stays legible and what a dish pays. There are 5 of them, Débutant up to Expert, and a level is only offered once you have reached it; win a shift and you go up a rung, until the last one, where the words stay as hard as they get and the shifts keep coming. The Difficulty row is how much of each line is written: Débutant writes a say-it-like-this and the English under every sentence, Intermédiaire writes the sound alone, and Avancé gives you the French with nothing under it. New game reopens that card, so both are asked for at exactly the moment a fresh shift is wanted.